Dropout Certificate Teardown

I read "My Official Certificate of Dropping Out of School" and had a good laugh. Here are the quotes with my comments:

The guardian and student signing below accept total responsibility for the named student being a school dropout.

OK, here we go....

By signing this document, I realize that I will not have the skills that I will need to survive in the new millennium.

By staying in school I will only learn to follow directions from others rather than taking my own initiative and making my own directions

I understand that I may be unable to perform even everyday tasks that would have used the skills I learned in reading, writing, computers, science, life skills and other school classes.

None of which may ever be necessary in the day to day living of an adult. Basic skills like reading and writing and math do not require classrooms to acquire let alone practice.

I further understand that as a dropout, I will probably earn just over $500 per month, less than half what I would have earned had I graduated. I realize that over the course of my lifetime, I will likely earn a grand total of $329,000 less than my peers who graduate.

On the other hand, those like Bill Gates (world's richest person), Michael Dell and Steve Jobs are doing very well by being dropouts.

If I cannot read this form, I certify with an "X" that this form has been read to me, but I realize that since I can't read very well, I actually have no way of knowing for sure exactly what this paper says. I'm signing anyway and hoping that I am not signing away anything that I will later regret. I realize that as a school dropout, this just may be one of many times that I will not be able to understand what nearly everyone else does.

Whatever. I'll be coming up with an alternative home educating pledge/certificate in a day or two...